The End Is Only The Beginning

Well, that was a crazy thirteen weeks. How about a recap! I took to the task of training, and I use that term lightly, a gentleman of larger stature. No one thought it could be done. I however, being the competitive person that I am, set out to prove them all wrong. Turns out I was wrong. Not so much in what I was doing, but how I was approaching the problem.Now, I’m not going  to bore you all with my theories on why failure from the start was almost guaranteed, but for the masochistic read up on the malfunction of serotonin . It’s really boring. So moving forward, I had lost my subject to circumstances that are hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. The whole hospitalization still confounds me.  Then a week later I got a new client and everything changed. The “blog” became more of a potential tool for serious clients, rather than a half baked shot at hilarity. A site containing information for any client who wants to keep track of their goals, or compare what others are doing was becoming a reality. My new favorite quote comes from the CrossFit certification team: “We fail at our margins of experience”. Clearly, I was past my margins with Gargamel, but without the experience I gained from him, this evolution could not of taken place. As for Gargamel, I guess he’s the same. “Vodka soda, burger, bacon, cheddar cheese”.



Ahh..The bar

April 20, 2010 Leave a comment

Perhaps the greatest thing about the bar scene(besides the tequila) might be it’s uncanny nature to create webs of social networks. It is through this social network that ideas spread and individuals become members of groups, or evolve into the all encapsulating term of “regular”. You see, regulars all talk to one another on a daily basis, so it should come as no surprise that my work with Gargamel is no longer a secret. I was always expecting this. However I was not expecting the encouragement and genuine interest in this brand of fitness, in fact through this social network I have taken on a new client. And the great news, this person works they’re ass off. We have a real goal set for June and twenty sessions scheduled from now until then. Seem great, right? Yeah- here’s the catch- this is what people have been fooled into believing!Do not eat like this Eat like this and get ready for some auto immune diseases. Trying to explain why this is true can be further researched by reading the grain manifesto. The challenge is getting one to reverse what they thought was good into bad, and what was once bad, into good. I realize at this point I must sound like a crazy person, but I challenge you to find a better way of eating.

Seriously, i have $1000 to anyone who can prove nutritionally and scientifically a better performance eating regiment. Any takers??

Categories: The Project

When The World Gives You Lemons, Make Lemon Cellos

April 10, 2010 Leave a comment

What happens when it all falls apart? When the universe decides to throw it’s weight around? Do we run? Give up? Or do we fight? Recently my friend and client, Gargamel underwent surgery for an enlarged hernia. Interesting, a person decides to change their life and not only does the psyche rebel, but the body does as well. What this ultimately has done is increase drug and alcohol consumption to higher levels than before the project started. Awesome. Now I do this!

I think back to my days of Drama School (not AMDA) and remember how we were emotionally stripped of all that we were. “Being rebuilt in the image of past personalities” is what they would say. What does that mean? I still have no idea, but i do have access to all those things that make me cry! Maybe this is a chance to rebuild Gargamel, he is after all at rock bottom. And if my guess is correct, at the bottom of his fifth Kettle One and soda. The time is rapidly coming when I walk away.

At this point if you haven’t already, listen to the song at the beginning of the post. Listen again

Shake Weight Off!!

March 30, 2010 Leave a comment

Every so often I’m floored by the brilliance of people.  It’s almost as if life stops entirely and certain objects just shine. Thus my award for the most creative and innovative fitness product goes to geniuses behind The Shake Weight. Finally a fitness product that offers a one stop shop for all fitness goals. Just look at how the “natural movement” complements the motion of the hand. It’s almost instinctual. In fact I recommend this product to anyone who wants to tone and keep that certain person really happy. Developed by some really, really, funny people, the Shake Weight also make the perfect gift. Mother’s day is right around the corner and what better way to show mom you care then, giving a gift that will never go flaccid! But wait, there’s more. Guys, imagine the joy on your lady’s face while she shakes her way to fitness! Awesome! And the greatest thing about  Shake Weight is it’s completely portable. Bored at a bar? Shake Weight! Waiting for the bus? Shake Weight! Join the new revolution.

Now It gets real…Like the Goonies

March 30, 2010 Leave a comment

Here’s a fun test for us all to do! Go around and ask people, friends, co-workers, significant others, strangers, really anyone who looks sane, this question- and see what they say. “Do you believe that doing a workout in 2 to 3 minutes, can surpass the benefits of mild to moderate exercise in excess of an hour?” Confused? This is the mild to moderate exercise I see people doing in the gyms for hours.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that even the smallest amount of exercise can benefit any individual. However, we must accept the concept that time does not equal maximum efficiency. Compare the above video to this absolutely insane output of energy.

Now, I know there are very few people in the world that can display this level of athleticism, however know that it is possible to destroy a work out in two minutes and realize the excuse of time is no longer valid.

Which brings me to my Everest- Gargamel. After weeks of lectures, educating, shunning, and finally accepting that I’m completely over matched, I played my final card. A gamble to be sure, but before i get ahead of my-self and reveal what happened, it should be known that I really like this guy, he’s my friend…so calling him out and making him tear up was purely a means to an end. Basically calling someone worthless, fat, a drunk, and unable to change sucks, but it had to be done. Maybe I got through, because for the first time since the beginning of this I saw some real combative energy, so much in fact that Gargamel agreed to a workout with me in the gym. Back in the gym after three years- a victory for me.

Functional Movement

March 10, 2010 1 comment

This exchange took place last week. It focuses on functional movement and the theory behind the movements. I tried to get Chuck Sheen to play me and John Goodman to play Gargamel, however they were unavailable. Enjoy.

Now It’s clear

March 2, 2010 Leave a comment

I really like those super motivational posters that one finds browsing the shops of a run down strip mall. Far too many times, I’ve found my-self down in the dumps, unable to grasp the meaning of life. A sad state to be, no doubt. It sure is good that these posters exist to inspire folks. In fact, I’m so inspired I decided to make a special poster for my comrade Gargamel . See how the sun just breaks through the clouds, like some analgesic narcotic that makes everything better. (that turn of phrase is not mine- it’s from Adam Rapp’s amazing play Nocturne-read it.) You see, Gargamel struggles with what is called a “Drinking Problem”.

Clearly, I need to enlist the advice of an addiction specialist to adjust my training process. And what do you know, I just happened to run into such a person. My questions are in the vein of basic knowledge, as are the answers: “in order to progress in recovery, we also need to let go of some of our friends, some of our activities, some of our favorite places to relax and socialize, even some of our humor.” I felt at this point my need for answers would be better served if I asked more specific questions. It turns out, Gargamel is drinking out of fear. Fear is quite a powerful motivator, especially in this case, because it’s operating on two levels. First the fear of failure and it’s direct relationship with fear of success drastically plays into failing to making changes. Secondly fear leads to shame, and drinking in Gargamel’s case is shame based. If Gargamel can learn “that there is no reason for being ashamed of wanting to change his life”, then the real change can begin. Those clouds sure do inspire, don’t they.